Keeping it Simple

[Underdog]

Kristy,

I think you have an amazing start on this journey to a new and positive you. What remarkable growth you've managed to force in such a short period of time.

Control. Ah, an issue I know intimately and all too well. My surrogate mom and I were discussing this need to control our environments just a short while ago. And we both arrived at the same independent conclusion.

Typically those of us who desire to control others and events and everything else are living fearful lives. What might happen if we didn't control things or others? My illusion of control was shattered the moment my H walked out of our door almost 2 years ago. I realized that it was going to elude me until I figured why in the heck I was so terrified of giving it up.

My surrogate mom was afraid of finding out who she really was. She was afraid that she would discover she was the unhappy and miserable woman her mother told her she was. Guess what? She found out the truth was the total opposite!

I figured out that my entire life was built on a foundation of chaos. My family seemed to operate in a constant crisis mode. I used to think we were all drama queens. I see now that we had a lot of Murphy in our lives... but that we tended to create trouble when there was none. I doubt that as a family unit, we could have survived a week of peace.

Controlling was my method of dealing with this way of life. I believed that I had to be the boss of everything that happened to me or around me. It was tiring when I figured out what was wrong with me. Hey, it's a tough job to go find camps of people and elect myself their chief!

So my question to you is this: What purpose did your control issues serve? Are they still valid? If so, what are the other options?

Sorry for the questions--I'm famous for asking them. Just ask my family! I used to get in trouble for asking why... however, as much as people hate me asking them, the answers are usually something we need to explore, no matter how long that might take.

Have a terrific weekend and keep up the great attitude!

Betsey