Thank you Thank you Thank you Betsey for helping me along this path, and being so supportive. I have slacked off on journaling here, but have continued to reflect and journal here at home!

I had a break through therapy session yesterday. cried for most of the hour, which my therapist calls a "good" session I relived my childhood and my need to control things, and over this last week have learned that the reason i enjoy chaos so much is because it allows me to escape what is inside of me... I am my worst enemy right now...

So new goal.. I NEED TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH MYSELF!!!! I thought this to be the strangest thing when my therapist said it to me.. I was like, friends with myself??? but I dont like myself... so I guess that would be a good place to start... So I thought on this some more today.. How do you make friends? Well, you listen to them, and you offer advice, your supportive and you do nice things for them.. So first things first...
Listen to them.. time to listen to myself.. really listen to what my body is trying to tell me.
My body is telling me that it is tired and emotionally drained. Its afraid of letting go of control and doesnt want things to go wrong. It is afraid of conquering different tasks in fear that it will fail... If this were my friend.. I would say "Friend, You are strong and you have control to do this... By letting go of control you are still taking a stand of some sort of control... you are making a choice, and it is a good one. I would say Start taking care of yourself friend, sleep more, take vitamins, work out, and do nice things for yourself.. take warm baths, read a good book, run around at the park with your kids, listen to good music, and keep a smile on your face!! Emotionally I know your drained, and you should be, allow yourself to be that way and let it go... Tell yourself I am tired and I deserve the right to smile and just REST!! REST and let things fall where they may.

just REST!!

This is the advice I would give a friend.. so why not myself!!! This month will be devoted to making a new friend with myself... and allowing myself to just REST!!

Hugs
Kristy