The weekend was a success! Reflective time was overwhelming and incredible all at the same time. My eyes were opened! I missed my family, I decided that it wasnt worth all the complaining and the whining anymore. All the time I waste nagging and pushing him away could be better spent enjoying his time! As I sat up at the camp enjoying my alone time, I thought of my friends mother who is now without her husband due to a sudden death. I told myself how petty I have been. I have the ability to enjoy the man in my home, yet all I can do is try to be "right" That does not seem to be working for me! I have a full time job at home that requires my full attention! My full effort, and just because it isnt always fun, just because its hard sometimes does not give me the right to say "nah, I am not going to work on it today, I am not going to clean the house, or play with the kids" That is NOT acceptable. I am bigger than that... My trying to control the situation... protect myself from getting hurt in the future.. does not make things easier. I need to know that I have done all I can for my family, and if releasing control ends up hurting me in the end.. then atleast i will still know that I did what I could. I know I am going on and on here... but this weekend has just opened up so many doors. Before I went, i wrote out my goals without thinking I would actually achieve them. I am stronger now, I know that I will achieve them. I am even going to learn French!! Something that I have always wanted to do , but didnt think I could really do it. Something that came up while I was away was Wedding vows... I think that some people should change the vows too "I promise to love you and stay with you for as long as I am having fun! Once it gets hard I will have to Leave you!" Doesnt sound that good too me, but there have been times where I have completely forgotten the things I have promised... and there are way too many people going into marriages thinking that there is always a way out!! I am not going to just give up! I'm going to FIGHT!!
Okay stepping off my stool now... Hugs Hugs Hugs!!!!
