Hi all, How are you? H and I have been chit chatting some almost every day. For the most part, we sleep in separate beds. A couple weeks ago we had a good talk and then we were ML all week, and I stayed in our bed. Then he came home in a bad mood one day and said he needed to get away from it all. The next day he said that he was afraid that I thought this M was going in a direction that he wasn't sure he wanted. (getting back together). So, after that, I resumed sleeping in my bed. (The spare bedroom that we call mine b/c it is basically my dressing room.)
Since then, my plan has been to be friendly and warm to him and to be very receptive when he wants to talk about anything...I have been quite mysterious as I go out all the time, fluff-n-puff to the max (look hot), and come home later than him a lot of the time.
One night he went out, I thought he was gone for the evening, then I proceeded to get ready to go out and turned on a CD jammin' to some Prince, and he came home...he acted huffy. I asked if he wanted me to turn it down b/c it looked like he was going to read. He didn't answer, but then stomped around for a bit and plopped down on the couch with his book.
A couple days after that, he came to my room and said he wanted to apologize, that this is just harder on him at times than others. I told him I appreciated the apology and gave him a hug. Coincidentally, it seems like when we spend a minute or two hugging, he gets horny. Yee haw! So, we ML.
He was concerned about me getting emotional if we ML, but I told him that I could deal with the emo's and that I wanted to ML too. So, we ML every few days-and, well, as I have learned from before-separation sex rocks!!! You can tell that we really miss each other and the looks that he gives me are so emotionally charged and connected-like, it is great!
My non-DB friends think that I am letting him take advantage of me by ML with him even though we don't have more of a R. But, my plan is in place! Pam said that Michele had a post about having sex when separated-does anyone know where that is?
More on the plan-I am taking care of me by doing some house projects, climbing every week, making jewelry, I took a leaded glass class, and I have been looking for a new full-time job. (Yes, again). The mortgage biz is tuff, so I've been waiting on tables at a really nice restaurant in town making some good money. I go to mtg. place in morning and afternoon and work lunches at the restaurant. I am not in a position to move out of our house financially or to pay for it myself, so I figure as long as I am in a position to not do anything, to NOT do anything!
Since he has told me a million-bajillion times that I just have not been patient enough with him to get over the past, my plan is to not ask for anything emotionally from him for 6 months, and see if indeed he does come around. Seems like I can only go 4-6 weeks before I complain that he doesn't compliment me enough, initiate ML enough, or tell me ILY enough, or that he isn't supporting me emo'ly enough. Soooo....I started this on 9-23 and have been doing v well so far.
Last night I came home in a somewhat depressed mood and he actually came into my room to ask if I was ok. I told him that I was stressed, sad, mad, depressed. He asked about what & I said mainly the job sit. and he said, "and the sad and mad?" I told him that was re: our sit. I didn't divulge much info. He knows that I interviewed a couple weeks ago and never heard back from them. (I called a few times and they promised to call me back on Friday, but didn't.) Then he was getting horny! He makes jokes about me using him for sex sometimes, so I told him he just wanted to see how I was so he could get some. We have been joking around a lot like that, and we both like it. (Except, I don't really want him to think that I am using him for sex, so I am being very complimentary and reassuring when we do ML or he makes comments like that.)
