Quote: I don't think H realizes the importance of planning for retirement NOW (we are in our 30's), but I've worked in the ret. industry and I know how necessary it is.
Do you think you could get him to read Smart Couples Finish Rich ot The Automatic Millionaire with you (or listen to a tape or seminar from the same guy, if H isn't a reader?). It's a little simplistic in its financial advice, but it's pretty motivating, and just might get him thinking that way.
I'd be a little more patient about the banking thing. Sounds like he's just a lazy procrastinator - after all, it doesn't have the same meaning for him as it does for you, so he doesn't feel the same urgency. What difference does a couple more weeks make?
And have you really worked out how this joint account is going to work? Different couples do it differently. Some put their relative share of the bills into a joint account (like, if he makes twice what you do, he puts in two thirds and you put in one third) and then keep separate accounts for the rest of "their" money. Some pool it all together and assign one person as the financial manager. I'd be interested to hear how other people do it.
My H and I have always followed the latter model - all money in one checking account, which I manage. This has pros and cons. Pros: - my H hates balancing a checkbook or paying bills, while I like to do it, so I got the control and he avoided the chore.
- only I have the checkbook and ATM card, so it is easier to keep track of balances - no surprises like "oh, honey, I forgot to tell you I wrote a check for $800".
Cons: - if I was not an ethical sort, I suppose I could be making spending decisions that H didn't know about
- H being "out of the loop" financially means he always thinks we have more money than we really do - if you don't pay the bills, you don't know where all the money goes. (I'm trying to remedy this by getting up to speed on one of the computer programs like Quicken, so I can have an easy way to show him where our money goes every month).
- if the bookkeeping partner dies or leaves , the other spouse could be left without the skills they need (think of all those women who never handle finances, then have to untangle messes when their H's die. I worry about my H having similar probs, actually - he really doesn't understand the way I do the accounting, just a different style, and I'm not sure he knows where everything is.)
- with a joint account, it is hard to feel like you have any "mad money" for yourself.
How do others out there handle this? Maybe coming up with a concrete plan would make your H more comfortable with the idea? And if your income is going to be irregular, this will take more discussion, as it is harder to keep track of and budget around.
