Things have been going pretty well for the past few weeks. His bday was nice, but I didn't get to take him out b/c it was snowing too bad. For the most part, we've been getting along well. Valentine's Day was really nice. H gave me a bottle of wine, roses, a card, and took me out for a surprise dinner the Friday after. I cooked din. that night and gave him some concert tix.
I found a new job. I'm going to be a loan officer for a mortgage company. Pretty scary b/c it's all commission. But, I really need a change. My work has not been compensating me well enough & haven't promoted me, etc. (it's a long story. I never should have accepted such a low pay to begin with, and I only meant to be there temporarily. Temporarily has turned into over 5 years.
I'm afraid that H has not gone to the bank. My card got compromised and someone charged over $500 to it. It was all credited back to me and I got a new account # & card. So, H was reluctant to switch to my account until that was over & done with. OK, it's been about 3 weeks, and I told him it was all cleared. Then Monday morn. I asked if he would rather open up an account in HIS name. He said, "no, since it's cleared up now. I'll go Tuesday or Wednesday or..." I have asked him a couple times if he really intends to go. Why does he keep saying he will if he won't? As far as I know, he did not go T or W this week. The only reasons I can think of are a. he's lazy/procrastinating, b. doesn't care, c. doesn't trust me, d. is still thinking about divorce, or e. doesn't want to share his money, or f. other?? It's not that I WANT his money, but rather, I would like to work on financial goals together. He makes a lot more than me and spends as he wishes, while I struggle from paycheck to paycheck.
My new job has "unlimited earning potential" so I wonder if I should just wait it out and just save/plan for retirement myself. I don't think H realizes the importance of planning for retirement NOW (we are in our 30's), but I've worked in the ret. industry and I know how necessary it is.
I just don't get it. Part of me feels like he wants to live like a single person, and he prob. does not want to feel "controlled." But, in November, he told me he was IN this M and around Christmas time he told me he would join banking after the holidays. (which holidays, I wonder? )
Re: my job, he said that we would "handle it." He didn't say specifically if he would give me money, or we would plan together, etc., so I asked him one day, but I had to get to work. I think he thinks he'll just give me money. He doesn't understand why I have a hard time having to ask him for money. I don't think that I should have to.
It may not be the most divorce busting thing for me to do, but I really want to talk about this. B/c if he is still unsure about our R and/or doesn't trust me, it may be time for me to move on. I think I've done my share of working on this M, and my biological time clock is ticking. It seems like kids are still far off in the future. (I'm 35 1/2).
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