I feel like I am slipping somewhat into some negative patterns of thinking. H & I went to dinner and to get a movie. He logged on briefly, and I saw that the parental controls that I tried to set were not set. ??? I didn't do it right.
Later, I tell H this and start probing a little as to if it was hard for him not to, etc. He really thought I had a bi!chy attitude, and didn't respond very well. We went back and forth a bit, not really making a + resolution. I told him that I wanted some assurance and asked if I shouldn't ask for it. He said that he would give it to me if I asked nicely. Seems like I get really emotional, think I am communicating nicely, but am not.
So, I went to bed and he watched the movie. I woke up from 1-3 and felt somewhat troubled. I know that not forgiving him and bringing it up is not going to help us move forward. He wants to move on (by not talking about it) and I want to move on by getting some compassion from him. This is where I get stuck.
Do I need to go back to not asking him for anything??? I know I am not DB'ing as well as I was this summer and need to step on the gas. I am still hanging out with my friends 2 or 3 times a week. H has been spending a lot of time playing with rc cars and is gone most of the day on Sunday. He mentioned wishing there was something else that we could do together and we tossed around a few ideas.
He hates going out in the snow, but may hike sometime in the snow if it isn't too bad.
For me??? I have a lot on my plate to take care of myself. I am not even sure where to begin!
