Quote: He wants me to put the parental controls on the computer.
Can he not do this himself if he feels that he needs it on the computer while he is weaning himself away from the sites?
Quote: We both continue to have a lot of resentments towards one another.
You did ask me to post and you do know I didn't save my marriage so you have to take this for what it may be worth! BUT, something I KNOW more than one person told me, your resentments have to be put on the back burner or addressed if possible by changes you make in yourself, because if you are the one working on the R you have to address their resentments and concerns first before they are in a place that they would be willing to look at yours.
Plus, something Ellie posted to me last week I think about selfish love versus selfless love. My resentments towards D are because he isn't here with me and enjoying time together but that is about how him being here would enable me to feel. So it is actually a selfish wish. I think sometimes in R's one person or the other is the one needing from the other and the other is being selfless, but that would be in an R without resentments already built up I would think.
One of my big problems during the time I was trying to db were my expectations that he was and should, (lovely word that ), turn around and work with me on the marriage. But if they are either ambiguous or wanting out, they aren't going to do that at this time. I realize your h says he wants to stay m. But it doesn't sound as if he is ready to jump in with both feet yet. As someone said he is dipping his toes in the water to see how it feels to him.
I think, again take with a grain of salt, you need to just either address his concerns, or just validate if no other action can be taken and keep showing him the positive new Karen that, HAS A LIFE, besides just him!!!!!!!!
Maybe he isn't ready for deep R conversations at this point in time? Just be his friend and supporter?
And yes, you managing your money would show him how responsible you are!
I still don't have those titles for you on the books but I will find them.
Hope you had a Wonderful Christmas and are ENJOYING today!
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
), turn around and work with me on the marriage. But if they are either ambiguous or wanting out, they aren't going to do that at this time. I realize your h says he wants to stay m. But it doesn't sound as if he is ready to jump in with both feet yet. As someone said he is dipping his toes in the water to see how it feels to him.
today! 
