Well, my anx was founded. I caught H again using IP. We got into a discussion. He says he was bored and being stupid. He did say he is sorry and regrets it. He said he feels like I am selfish in bed. I argued that I am ALWAYS asking him what he wants, and if he doesnt' say it, how am I supposed to know? I told him my part of the sep was for him to decide what he wanted-that or me and that i expected him not to do it. I told him to think about it and if he can't say he won't do it, then don't. I said, "you don't have to answer me now..." He said, " I can promise now. I won't do it." He went out with the guys (this convo was on the phone), didn't get home til late, i was sleeping. This morn we talked before work. I told him I deserved a hug, he said ok and said he was sorry. I told him I was really pissed at him right now and that he just flushed down the toilet the work we had been doing. He tried to make it like he was "getting even" b/c of all of the bad things I've done to him. I said that I had taken the blame for the things I did wrong to him, but that I was NOT taking the blame for when he does something wrong. (You know, like when he says, "I did it b/c I was mad at you." Or "B/c you're being selfish") He shook his head like he was confused. I said things always come back to me. He says he's afraid to talk to me. I said that I have never given him a hard time for sharing his feelings and it has been over a year since we had any couple/few hour fights. He thinks that's too soon to tell. I could go on...but this is the most important stuff. Some other stuff did come up. I am so dissappointed right now. I have been doing really well and I don't think I deserve this crap. I told him we can't move on with him continuing to do this stuff in our r. I need to get back on track of taking care of my finances and finding a new job. I can't support myself financially if we d.
We also talked about our vaca which is the day after tomorrow. I've been doing all of the planning and looking for places to go, etc. i asked for his opinion a couple times on what to do and I told him that I only care about 2 days-the one day I'm climbing, and the one day I'd like to drive to Zion, the other 3 we can fly by the seat of our pants. He says, "well this is your deal. I don't need to go somewhere to be happy." I said that I don't either, but there are lots of things that I want to see. I brought up that we had discussed this before we got m and that I don't want to have this fight again. Meaning how imp. vaca is to me and how unimportant it is to him. I said, Well I care about you and don't want to dictate what hikes we are going to do...
Which chimed in with him not opening his mouth by helping to decide what's for dinner, or what to do for the evening, etc. I said I can only be resp for myself. He said "you don't need to be resp for me, I was fine before you ,i'd be fine w/o you. i know how to make decisions." I said, "I know...that's what's so frustrating." I ask when he needs from store, he says nothing, then in other discussions talks about how i don't buy groceries. Hello?
