It's been a while since I have written. Things are going pretty well. H and I spent both Friday and Sat. night together this weekend and spent a lot of time together during the week. I haven't been very physically active, but yesterday I did take the doggies for a 2 mi. hike.

H rented some DVD's of the David Chapelle's Show. It's pretty crude humor. I can deal with some of it, but some I just don't get, and some brought bad memories to me. There were several references to men masturbating w/porn. I ended up getting off of the couch b/c I couldn't deal with it anymore.

I picked up our din. dishes and H asked what I was doing. I said putting the dishes in the kit. and he followed me with the rest. I didn't talk anymore, but went and got ready for bed and went to read. He came in shortly after and fell asleep. I went to spoon him, but he didn't seem very receptive.

Both Sat. night and Sunday night I had anxiety dreams. Saturday regarding him, Sunday regarding work. This morn. I cried a little, but didn't let him know. I tried to be smiley like usual and said goodbye. So, now I am feeling a lot of anx & fear about this sitch. Was I to assume that since he chose to stay M to me that he was giving that up? Should I ask? I haven't seen any clues that he has (I haven't snooped) and we've been ML frequently. When we S, I asked him if that (meaning IP) was what he wanted and that I didn't think he was being committed to the R. He said that it isn't what he wants and when we got back together, he said he was going to do what he could to help the R work. BUT, we never talked about that specifically.

Furthermore, Sat. I went to a craft festival w/MIL and her sis. She got another cat a couple weeks ago and was talking about getting a friend for it. Um...this makes 11 cats in a tiny house. She said that she needed to since she wasn't gonna get any grandchildren. (H is an only child). I asked why she said that and she waved her hand dismissively. Meaning??? Then she said to her sister, "and you aren't either." (Her sis has one daughter my age who is divorced and dating someone-don't know how serious it is.)

So, what was the point of her saying that? Hello, I am not to blame for her cat sickness and she knows all about our M and how rocky it has been. As far as I know, H wants to have kids, but when our R is more solid. So, who knows when that will be. I just thought it was insensitive of her to say. I don't think she knows anything I don't know-like if H ever told her he DIDN'T plan on having children...I am considering saying something to her. What do you think?

Thanks for reading.
Karen