Hello again.
Last night I went to climb w/a gf and then met up with the bike club for din. I had fun socializing with the group and my new mf. It's just a friendship-I enjoy his company b/c he likes to talk and actually admits to having issues and has shared some with me. He also likes to do a lot of the same things that I like to do.

When I came home, H was home and up. He had gone out w/his buddy to eat and play pool. (+since he went out w/his friend Thurs, he's going out with me Friday). I know I really need to give up this jealousy and just accept that H needs to feel comfy with me and is not just going to do something (ie wear a nicer shirt when going out w/me) just b/c he doesn't want me to get upset. In fact, he'd prob do the opposite for fear of feeling controlled. So I must come across as not caring about what he wears or what we do.

He asked about my whereabouts and where I went after climbing. We went to bed and he was grumbling. He is really tired of his job. But last week he said he wasn't going to apply for anything at this time b/c of vaca. I said that the employer should let him have a week off. And H said that he can't afford to take a week w/o pay and that if I made more money, it might be possible. Ok, so he can spend hundreds on his truck, but can't save a few hundreds for a week of no pay? Furthermore, I felt kind of guilty...

So, I just snuggled him a little and he fell asleep. I feel like-I don't know-It's good that he feels comfy enough with me to be "himself" and be grumpy and share stuff with me, but on the other hand, I feel a little taken for granted in that he is more "on" with his friends than he is with me. And, well, the first week or two back together was v. exciting and passionate, and now it feels like more of the same.

OH, but wait! I forgot about PATIENCE!!! Will there ever be a time where we both feel comfy with each other and happy???

Furthermore, it's usually on me to come up with things to do. And sometimes the things that I want to do are diff than what he wants to do, so I try to come up with things that he WOULD want to do. ???Make sense???

Karen