Hi, Last night was fine. Went to scrapbook store, groc. store, cooked din., and hung out w/H. He asked me what we would do if it rained & we couldn't bike Thurs. I said, "can I climb?" He said, "when have I ever said 'no'?" I said never, but that I didn't want to be rude and just say I was doing it. He said he wouldn't care and that he wanted me to have fun.
He said he may go out w/buddy since I am climbing or go out with him on Friday night. I acted cool with it, but today I have anxiety. Torturing myself w/jealousy and thoughts of how much effort he'll put into looking good. I wish I could get help with this once and for all! I'm going to go to a new IC, but can't get in until Nov.
I'm taking the next 3 days off and I am going to work on a big house project, have some fun, and go to 2 dr. appt's. I asked H if we could do something Tuesday day if he is not too busy.
I am reminding myself that maybe some day we will be able to go out-out together again and have a good time. Baby steps and patience. H has continued to be more loving, playing with my hair or face (which I LOVE), or signing loveeeooo on emails, etc.
