Hey Karen, Sounds like you are falling back into the habit of how you guys used to interact. You gotta break the cycle, girlfriend! Reading this, I have to think he feels like nothing he does is pleasing you. Ya know, I am alot like you...when we had plans and they fell through, I would be all hurt and upset w/H. I have worked so hard to change the way I react about stuff like that. For instance, H stopped "staying over". Normally, I would have threw a fit, badgered him about it, etc. until he wanted to escape me like a wild thing. I still have those same feelings, Karen, but now I "act as if" and give him a cheery goodbye (keep in mind I feel like clubbing him!!!) and lo and behold, this week he changed HIS way of reacting. It was nice. I still didn't "get my way" but he made me feel like he was ready to give me a baby step instead of the stagnant place we were at. Nuff about me...I just wanted to tell you it CAN be done.
I see you are still putting too much on him, about your feelings. Yes, you are doing your own thing and that is super. But when you two make plans, you set the goal too high. You need to relax and go with the flow. I know it would irritate me too, about your H not wanting to go because it MIGHT rain. Esp. as I LOVE the rain. But it sounds like it is alot of pressure on him, when things don't go perfect. He is waiting for you to make a big deal about it, and you aren't letting him down.
On the upside, you had the right idea about the soap! He is a big boy...he can certainly run to the store for himself. You did good...don't sweat it.
Re-read your post if you can...as if it were someone you don't know posting it. H is telling you some good stuff, too. He said you are acting like the WHERE and WHAT is more important than being with him. I think he is trying to tell you lots with that one sentence. He feels unimportant to you, I'd say. He seems to be testing you, with the not dressing up thing, the cancelling the outing thing, etc. See it as that, and don't let him "win" those tests. Don't fall into the old pattern, Karen! You can do this!!!
I feel like when you show him that doing things with him NOW doesn't have to be a struggle of your wills, he will maybe begin to want to do other stuff with you. Don't pressure. Let him see you can do this!!! I know he loves you, how else could he stay and work on things with you? Stop courting those negative things! Speak the positve into your R. Speak his LL, be self-less for a bit and forget about it when he doesn't speak yours. You can't force him but you can change the way he reacts.
I hope I am not hitting you too hard. It's just you KNOW how to DB like a pro, and then once you make headway, you start the old patterns. I want to see you lunge ahead! You ARE going to be a success!!! Hear me??? LOL.
Guess I will slink on out of here before you bring out your own club! LOL You are gonna be fine, just back up and take a deep breath and try to see it from his viewpoint instead of your emotions. I'll check in later. Take care! Debi
He is a big boy...he can certainly run to the store for himself. You did good...don't sweat it. 
