Quote: So, how was i supposed to "look" committed to the M?
I worded that wrong. I should have said "How was I supposed to look like I CARED about the M?" He said that I seemed so indifferent to the sit.
Gray talks about defending yourself in Mars/Venus? I don't think I read the book from cover to cover. H is such an atypical male that a lot of male "stereotypes" don't fit him. (Like the ones in MWD's books-he does LOTS of housework, he spends time with me, he's not a workaholic, he doesn't like sports, he cares more about the R than sex, he's not controlling, etc.) DANG, he sounds pretty good, doesn't he??
Quote: Yes, he's projecting anger on to you. But you seem to be doing the exact same thing. One of you is going to have to completely CEASE this modus operandi in order for this cycle to stop repeating itself. And it won't be easy or quick either.
Good stuff! You're right!
Quote: Karen, you were doing just great with this when you were expecting less of him and yourself. I hope you can pick up this ball again, because it clearly worked to get you to a better and happier place.
What were you doing then that you are not doing now? Write them down, and start doing them again!!!
Well I was hanging out with friends and family all the time. So, how do incorporate spending time with him and everyone else. However, I'm usually the one pursuing friends, and that gets old. I also did whatever I felt like doing. He doesn't "keep" me from doing things, but as you know, I like to do a lot more diff. things than H.
I am trying to figure out the balance in here somewhere. When I was by myself, I didn't worry about how H felt about me. I wanted to be w/him, but I believed in myself and believed that I am attractive, worthy, and lovable. When I am around him, I get hung up on how HE feels about ME. Therefore, I feel bad about myself, b/c he thinks our M prob's are all my fault and that I have caused this (OK, so I did), and that he's not sure if I am worth keeping around or not. So, I beat myself up. I was forgiving myself and him while S. I was taking care of ME for ME.
