I guess I have a couple of comments...first off, patience, patience, patience, right? We know these things take TIME and you've seen great progress (and growth) just recently! babysteps!
Secondly...why are you setting up camp in the cheeseless tunnel of wanting h to acknowledge his "contribution"? He'll get there when he gets there and (IMHO) the more you push, the more resistant he'll be. YOU are taking responsibility for YOUR stuff...that's the important part! Don't dilute the impact of that by standing around going "hello, hello! what about your crap, too?"
And finally...your h made an interesting comment about your carefree attitude during the separation making him wonder about your commitment to the M. I think his message is important to hear...he does need to hear/know from you that you are invested in the M, Karen, and it needs to continue to be in an open, non-clinging, non-self-centered way (as you have been doing SO WELL!) but don't confuse DISTANCE (not-so-good) with DETACHMENT (good).
Keep it up, Karen.
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
