Thanks Sage!
H is such an atypical male that it's hard to figure out when he is being a martian or not. But, when I DID give him the benefit of the doubt, I actually thought "He probably thinks I'm in my hole and doesn't want to disturb me," but then I go and change my mind to the worst conclusion-that he is being inconsiderate.

Had MUCH anxiety today. Correlation being: close to/loving hubby=anxiety. Cognitive distortions being: 1. This isn't going to last 2. He doesn't really/love care about me 3. If he does love/care about me now, he won't in the future 4. I'm gonna get old & yucky (even had a nightmare two nights ago about this 5. He's not a passionate/adventurous/fun/excitable/happy person and never will be. Uck...

Change to: 1. This will last, and if it doesn't, there are other men that would love to marry me 2. He really DOES love and care about me-look at all he has done and what we have gone through 3. He is a dedicated man and probably WILL love me forever like he plans on doing as in that's why he made the commitment 4. Real beauty comes from within, and I'll probably be a hot old lady anyway (when do I have to quit shopping in the juniors' section??) 5.
Ummm...he REALLY can be passionate and excitable (HELLO!), he isn't a leader as far as adventure goes, but he is willing to do stuff, he can be fun-we just need to get comfy with each other again, and he is v. funny and we have been v. playful w/each other, as far as happiness? I think that will come with time and who knows-maybe a career change in a few years.

I want to find a new IC. I was referred to one but can't get in until November.

I'm also getting headaches every day again. Not migraines, thank goodness, but they are there.

I went climbing tonight for the first time in months! Of course, I am rusty AGAIN and will have to build up muscles and endurance AGAIN, but at least I'm still better off than I was in February!

Oh, I started that book, but never finished. I have a friend who is reading it too, so we've talked about it and I think it would be helpful. I was just on a "mindless" book kick and read "Fishbowl"-v. funny, I recommend it, started "Sex and the City"-not v. good, didn't finish, "Stepford Wives"-good, and now "Lovely Bones" which is v. different.

ttys,
Karen