Hi, I have not talked to H all week. I stopped in his room to give him a hug on Wednesday night. That's all I did-I said Hi, hugged him and walked back to my room.
Last night I went to the river. Initially, I did not want to b/c last time it hurt to see him ignore me. It's easier when we are just not around each other. But, my sis wanted to go, so I went. I saw him talking to his ex-fiance and some of her friends. Later I saw him walking around as if by himself. His usual friend was not there. Later I saw ex-f and talked to her for a few min. Just hi, how are you doing? where working, etc. She actually told me where she and friends were going if I wanted to meet them. She seemed a little weird though. Before when I have talked to her, she was friendlier. ??
Oh well. Later I saw H talking to her again. I went to get my truk and I saw him walking w/her and her friends to parking lot. I spied. Or tried to. I parked and tried to watch for them to see what they would do/were doing. I saw her leave w/another girl, but didn't see him. He must have walked to his car earlier b/c she was talking to fire dept. guys. I thought maybe I saw him walking, but wasn't sure.
I went to where she said she was going, but I didn't see his car. I didn't go in. Went to eat something w/my sis and her friend. Her friend came to pick us up at river. I ended up getting into it a little w/friend. We were talking about the sit. I told her how he told me that he should be able to talk to whoever he wants to w/o me getting jealous. She was saying that H was "double-talking" me and that if something hurt me, he shouldn't do it. I said I was trying to be understanding of his point of view and that I see plenty of my ex's and I talk to them. H has met some, AND I have about 20x more ex's than H has. ???
OK, so I shouldn't have gotten this girl involved. Seems that my sis tells her stuff, she makes her opinion, and tells me. We talked it out though and she said she understood where I was coming from. (Again, I wanted reassurance-DUH, not to be hating him more.)
Yes, I got myself into a mess. I wish I just wouldn't have gone like I originally wanted. H was home sleeping when I got home, so I guess he wasn't out fooling around on me.
I still have not said anything to him about the concert. Uh, it's tomorrow!!! I will today. I am wondering if he will want to ML this weekend, and I'm sure I'll be quite tempted, but I don't know if I can if we are not moving towards being together. ya know??
