First, thanks Chris, for the wake up call, you're right, of course, about us being male + female, and I shouldn't give him the choice...but going from 0 to 100 is pretty daunting still.
Actually, just bringing it up at all is a lot for me, and I think I needed to do it that way first, for me. I don't know if it's true or not, but I have the suspicion that if I just 'threw myself at him', he would get standoffish, or push me away, and I couldn't handle that right now. So I guess giving him the idea first is sort of a 'warm up' for me. We've been so distant for so long that I need to let myself get over some of the 'crap' that I've been thinking about him.
Nothing in the closet. I know what's in there, just cleaning stuff, toilet paper, etc. He likes to keep everything in order, and is afraid I'll mess up his order. Stomach tightens 'cause I expect him to yell.
Usual scene when I get home from work, if he meets me at the door, it's with 'I have a couple of things I want to say...let me know when it's a good time' and then procedes to tell me the messes he's found around the house that either the kids have made or I've left...
It used to be that he would just start in, and wonder why I got mad, I finally got him to understand that he should at least give me a minute or two when I walked in the door...I've tried to explain that if he kissed me and said somthing nice first I might not get so defensive, but he doesn't seem to understand that yet. Nor does he seem to understand that with 4 kids and a job, it would make things a lot easier on both of us if he just cleaned it himself sometimes...(I'm not a great housekeeper, but I'm not that bad either).
So yeah, I get a tight stomach when he's in 'that' mood. It did blow over quickly last night, but as I said, we're both in a good place right now.
