Our evening routine has fallen into the routine of once the kids are in bed, we spend sometime doing our 'own thing', I pick up and do chores, he sits in front of the computer, I usually do answer some e-mails, or whatever, and then we sit in front of the TV for an hour or so before going to bed (him with book and candy to avoid talking to me). If I suggest that we go to bed early or talk, he usually counters with 'well, I have things to do...'

Last night he started playing the piano for a while. I came down and asked for a hug. He chuckled and asked 'why', but he was obviously happy that I did. I said I just needed a hug, and he just smiled and pulled out some music.

We've been singing lately - or he plays, I sing, though I don't get to choose...partly, I'll give him, 'cause of his limited skills (but while I am a professional flutist, I'm a lousy pianist )

Anyway, last night, he pulled out some flute music. He asked me to play, even though he was sight reading. I'm not in 'good shape' with 4 kids, I don't have time to practice, but playing together started me thinking...

Since he was sight reading, we were playing very slowly. It was the kind of piece that at this tempo, I could blatently hear all my weaknesses from lack of practice, and it made me kind of sad. I wasn't able with him either to do the little things a musician does that brings a piece to life, he doesn't have the experience to be able to follow anything but me sticking strictly to the beat and playing clearly.

I couldn't help thinking that this was a bit like our love life...I remembered back to the very first time we ML...we put Messian on in the background, since we had just been to a concert, and I was describing how passionate his tonal colors were... I know he was turned on by me, but didn't understand what I was saying. It's as though he sees the world in black and white, and me in color...

Back to the hug. After we played for a while, he said he would like to eat something and watch TV. I asked again for a hug, and when he asked why, I said for the same reason you want to eat, it feels good.

I never got the hug, but he did sit close to me on the couch, and this morning he did thank me for making breakfast. Small steps...