1. Getting (and reading) PM and TSSM. This is harder than it sounds - as I said, I have to order on-line, and since H deals with all the finances, I will have to bring up before that I'm ordering something, does he want to anything, etc.
You can order TSSM and PM by phone through Powell's (866-201-7601 toll-free unless you're in the Portland area), and you get this agnostic's benediction for buying books this once JUST FOR YOURSELF! You can get it through the library, and it's against the professional ethics of librarians to tell a soul (John Ashcroft may ask, but I don't think those two books are generally read by terrorists, no matter what some irritated S's may say). Consider your homework to get the books and worry less about your husband's finding out than your need to get information and perspective.
If your H is as quiet as you say, you don't need to confront him with anything in terms of your reading the book. If he asks something like "Why are you reading that ("book" or epithet here)?" you can just smile sweetly and say, "That's okay, dear. You can have it when I'm done." If there's any truth to TSSM, you're right he's likely to have all his defenses up and darned scared as well. But this isn't a one-magic-conversation issue, so hiding it doesn't make sense.
