I know exactly what you mean...before my H and I really started addressing our problems I found myself becoming very resentful. That resentment led to angry glares, fuming, stone cold moments, defensiveness, pushing away, depression, low self esteem and just downright awkwardness between us. I tried to use my sense of humor to deal with things, but I always seemed to end up saying something insulting even though I thought I was trying to be funny....I know now (and I knew then too) that my dealing with things in that manner was the wrong approach. But lets face it...it can be hard to be empathetic to someone when you feel so hurt by them...but it can be done.
I notice that you mention that things took a turn when the kids came along...do you think it's possible he thinks you may not view him as being as important as the children? Is it possible he feels he's not one of the items at the top of your priority list?
You should be very proud of yourself for finally communicating this problem with someone (albiet you don't know us personally...sometimes there's a benefit to that :-) Getting things out in the open, receiving feedback and realizing you aren't alone is really a big help.
