Welcome heapmom,

I'm sorry you're here but glad that you decided to post. As you already know from your reading, we empathize with you and understand exactly how you feel. We applaud your desire to work on you/your R.

The first thing that comes to my mind (when something other than sex comes to my mind ) is to ask what your H claims to be the reason for his absence of desire for sex? 4+ years is a longggg time to go w/o sex. Was that his plan for sexual frequency before you M? Is he happy w/how things are or just happy not to be arguing about sex?

Best wishes for positive changes for you!

Mike - official greeter, but not much good offering advice