The situation you describe sounds very familiar. Wish I had a good answer for you. Hang in there is about all I can come up with and it's starting to sound kinds hollow.
As others have said try to focus on you. I'm not sure why you think you aren't self-sufficient, but get that way...it will make you more confident. As for the overweight part, you can fix that too. Just exercise the same kind of patience with it that you have w/your marriage. Remember, life's a marathon, not a sprint.
