Yeah, PIB we've probably hashed out this PI mystery before. Brief summary:
Year #1 (pre marriage) we were ML an average of 2X per day! Hot, excellent, totally in love.
Year #2 Didn't ML on our wedding night...got the cold shoulder approaching him in Lingerie,
Years #3-10 I was sick off and on (ulcerative colitis), had surgeries, not very condusive...still we ML every two weeks or so...some longer "dry spells"...quality started to drop
Around year 8 or 9 I realized that the "direct approach" (jumping him, being provocative) backfired...he'd lose his "umph", even mid-act!
So I backed off....no PI at all unless I brought it up, lots of performance problems for CJ. Even with Viagra (which he's only tried a few times with me).
Suggested Counselling, CJ refused. Suggested hormone tests...CJ refused (he finally did this this spring...they came back "normal" ).
Things got pretty good for a while (like two weeks)....WHILE he was having his second A, and "deciding who he wanted to be with" in Sept of '02....
A couple of attempts to ML in spring of '03, and then as stated above really nothing for the last year or so.
I've read SSM, so has CJ...he doesn't see himself as LD!!!
I've read two other books on the topic (names are escaping me).
What it comes down to for me is that CJ is just not ATTRACTED to me. I am a sexy woman (how's that for humility) I get comments, compliments, interested looks from other men....but not from the ONE MAN I need them from!!
I can't lay any of this on the A's...this issue was burning a hole in my soul LONG before those.
CJ's reasoning for the lack of PI BEFORE the A's and my DBing is that I was just so toxic to him, he didn't feel like being intimate with me.
Okay...so what about NOW???? With nearly TWO YEARS of changes, of getting along well, of respect, listening, validating, conquering my anxieties and perfectionism?
Hot, excellent, totally in love.
