Okay so that is my definate plan, I can forsee that if I don't stick to it he will run again. I don't want that to happen obviously so I know what I need to do.
Lingerie and fun toys are good ideas. Hmmm after pay day we can play...
Please tell me this trust stuff gets easier. I mean I don't feel he is doing anything wrong, but I am so afraid. And without me asking he just does not offer reassurance. And I know I can't ask because that goes no where. in this sitch we have not even talked about the R except in the lightest form of convo since he has been home (about a month). My guess is that it is best, now that he is home I don't want to probe to deep as all the probing may be what caused him to leave to begin with.
So, need to create a comfortable home with no drama (almost all stress and drama comes from me wanting him not to go out without me or him staying out too late.)
But here is the really big problem, I have been with him 14 years and I have been this way (controlling, jealous, needy) the whole time. I admit that I am much better than I used to be but I still have so far to go. I want to change, I do but is freakin hard and I am scared.
