Well I guess that is what I mean, Since he has been home I have not done anything to create mystery. It is almost like nothing ever happened. Except now I notice that we are starting to argue again. He thinks I should lighten up, I think he should be home more...talk about cheeseless tunnels. I know that has to stop. I am not good at difussing the conflicts yet. Sometimes it is his grouchy alien behaivor that causes this and somethimes it is my fear and clinginess. I just don't understand why he has to go out until 2:00am on a Tuesday night. As far as OW I am 100% that is not going on. I don't bring her up at all and this is big 180 because I used to bring her up constantly!
H can see right through my previous tries at mystery as it seems I am trying to make him jealous. Yet at the same time he has a comfort level because I don't go out at night after work like he does because I am with the kids. He works late and the goes out with the dudes after that. I am constantly worried that SHe will show up there...he has promissed in the past that he would leave if she came and there have been positives like he did change his cell number of his own accord and totally out of the blue.
We are grouchy with each other today and it sucks. I am turning on the "as if": right now. But dang if I know how I should have mystery. I know my relationship goals though:
For H to look at me as fun and exciting.
For us to have comfort and not tension in our R.
For there never to be a threat of OW coming back in our sitch. (Umm yeah prob beyond my control)
Am I A mess or what? I just feel at a stand still. My whole goal before was to get him home and now that he is I am floundering!
