NSN from the Newcomers board suggested that I post this here so that I can here some feedback from the posters on this board.
Also I am 25, H is 26 we have been together well over 10 years. We have two children D3, S1 and he dropped the bomb about 14 months ago. I will link my threads for those interested in cathing up and responding. I would really appreciate any advice because I find that I am so very fearful. Thnaks in advance.
Quote:
Okay so I have not been posting lately but I have been keeping up with everyone's threads and praying for all situtaions as well as my own. things are going really well at home. We just got back from our trip to california today. We had a great time and only a few tense moments. i just find myself so weirded ot because he acts like nothing ever happened. He says ILY and is affectionate. I ma terrefied he is going to one day say "I am sorry this has all been an act, I tried and I can't do this." We have had no R talks. he changed his phone number (i did not ask him too.) so he would not recieve nay unwanted calls. We all know what that means. He is trying and I can tell but when will I stop living in fear? I can't erase the year of hell that we went through and I don't want to because I am a better person now, but I am so afraid of going back to the old days and I am fighting to be trusting but inside I am loosing the battle. Even if he does not know it. I hope I still belong here because i still feel like a newcomer and I don't know if I should move to peicing. Does anyone have some advice? WTH can I do now that we are back together? I don't want things to go sour again. How can I be independent while he is home? This is the twilight zone.
Post Extras: I can't seem to get my threads to link so I will do that in a sepperate post NSN Member
Reged: 05/05/04 Posts: 1027
Re: So here we are now. [Re: MrsHopeful] #746865 - 07/20/04 02:02 PM Edit Reply Quote
MrsH, I'm happy to hear from you, but you sound anxious. You said he changed his phone number; that's great. Did you show your appreciation for that? If you notice he's trying, are you complimenting him for his efforts, however small?
I'm not sure what to say if he's acting like nothing has happened and you haven't had any R talks. I understand why you'd feel anxious and afraid that things will go back to the way they were. But remember, you DO have a part in this. If you feel like you haven't been keeping up the independence part, then go back out there and start it up again. Consistency is the key, MrsH. Don't give him a reason to say, "Aha. This was all a ploy to get me back." Do your part.
Somehow, sometime - you guys should have a R talk, it seems. But I'm not sure what to say about how this should come about. Maybe you could introduce your most recent post on the piecing thread (in addition to this one) and see if they have some better advice.
I'm thinking of you. Thanks for stopping by my thread.
-------------------- NSN My current thread
Post Extras: MrsHopeful Member
Reged: 04/29/04 Posts: 61 Loc: USA Re: So here we are now. [Re: NSN] #746920 - 07/20/04 03:04 PM Edit Reply Quote
NSN, Thanks for the advice. I am anxious. I just feel like there will always be a chance that the OW may come around again or that he can't get over his feelings for her... i don't want to bring up R talk because I feel like our last R talk brought him back and that bringing up things now would seem needy and more of the same during the first few weeks back home. I will try and wait it out until it seems more stable. What do you think? I can tell he is trying. I just sent him a nice e card thanking him for the weekend he sent me one back that was very sweet and nice.
