Thank you so much. I just feel I am struggling to make sense of my emotions and thoughts. They are all over the place and I very nearly sent CHL an e-mail, not real bad did lots of editing.
Good thing for me is when I spend lots of time editing I am usually back ahold of myself enough that I was able to not send the e-mail.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Well I didn't make it through the day yesterday without sending an email. Not a major crazymaking one, I did edit it a few times. But still not happy that I sent it. I also sent a short, he always sends short e-mails and I think I heard one time keep it short, just said I apologize, I personalized and had no reason to do so.
Reminder for me, when I am stressed and then sick on top of it, Don't DO Anything!
I feel better today, still a bit dizzy but nothing like yesterday afternoon.
After all the girlfriend talk I realized with a lot of people I am in contact with I almost always initiate contact. Partially I think that is just me though.
But yesterday I got an e-mail from Trish, which was really nice and then this morning I had one from Zoo!
This doesn't quit fit into the girlfriend category but a long time male friend also called last night to talk. It is funny we have known each other for years, and don't talk too often but if one of us is struggling we usually get in contact with the other. He is struggling with several issues right now and I wish he would read DR but I know he won't. Especially as he feels he needs to act as if nothing wrong and just move forward, and if he does that truly puts the problems behind him that might work. So far he has not dealt with things in a good way.
Feeling much calmer this morning. One of my new Goals!
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Gosh thank you PIB!! That makes me feel so good inside.
I would probably be beating myself up if I had not edited the e-mail. But I DID edit it so it wasn't too bad, just rather I hadn't sent it. The apology one was sent probably hour to two after the first one, so I was pretty quick at getting myself back in line.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
So does it really mean I am ditzy and gullible that the goof can make me laugh even when sick and crying?
Here is his response to my question.
I picked up house insurance envelope because I thought it was for the car
insurance.
Went yesterday during work because I'd headed out for lunch,
decided the weather was nice, decided I needed some time away from this
place, the weather was nice, the weather was still nice, my butt itched,
etc.
I was there all of about 5 minutes - long enough to look at tree, pet
dogs, let dogs pee so they didn't in house, find and grab mail, put dogs
up, head back to work.
He picked up the car insurance bill to pay as it was past due.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Hi Pam, I've just been reading through your awesome thread and doing some catching up.... I'm thinking on the "being the OW" idea, we'll see where that goes....
I 'm so very impressed with all you've managed to deal with so well....I don't know how you do it!
Dealing with it well is NOT what I have done, but I am getting better. 