Girlfriends are THE best commodity! My mom was an excellent teacher on how to be a devoted friend, and I learned all I know from her.
I could go into the childhood version (which was the basis for the adult version), but we'll stick to adulthood. What doesn't change? In order to have a friend, you have to BE one!
1. They call just to say "I've missed you!" And to validate all your latest misery. They don't mind the convo being all about you... as long as it is not always the case.
2. They send you birthday cards or funny jokes in e-mail because they know you will think something is funny.
3. They call you from their car phone because they heard a song that made them think of you.
4. They send you postcards from their vacation...
5. They reciprocate in kind the depth of caring and love you feel for them. (You are not the only one to initiate contact.)
6. When you hurt them or screw up, they forgive you. Because your friendship is well worth it.
7. They are long suffering about your men problems.
8. They have absolutely NO qualms in telling you they love you... flaws and all.
9. Out of state girlfriends? You can go for months without talking, but when you do, you pick up where you left off because the friendship is based on mutual respect and no pettiness.
I'm sure I could think of a dozen more if I had time. I have the best friends on the planet... and many of them live across the country. As I mentioned in my first paragraph, my mom was a huge proponent of BEING a friend to have one. That means putting energy and effort into cultivating them... keeping dates, improving your conversation skills and empathetic responses, loyalty, and the ability to eliminate gossip.
Which brings me to my #1 indicator of a true friend: someone who does not gossip about others. I'm not talking about the occasional chat about someone who bugs us, but needless talking about others and decisions they make. Nothing is a bigger turnoff to me than someone who chooses to talk about someone else without them being present.
Hope this helps!
Betsey
p.s. My childhood girlfriends were toenail painters, makeup artists, hair colorists and we loved to sit on the street corners (away from our houses) and just pick grass and talk. God knows what we had to talk about, but it was fun. My D10 loves all the same things about her girlfriends...
GIRLS ROCK!
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Betsey
