I really want to sort of get things more organized before I move but I am going to have to do better than I have been doing if I manage that before moving time.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Ok friends going to need some encouragement and support now.
I am pretty sure D signed the papers yesterday after his hair appointment. I had asked the hairdresser to ask him to call, so I could give him info on lowering house payment. She asked at work and I said yes.
About half an hour after he left her place he called the house and left a message that just said, "Hello, Hello, Hello". It was before time for me to be home from work so my feeling here is he called the house so he wouldn't actually reach me.
I realize I have been extremely stressed and tense all week, just waiting. My shoulders and neck have been really tight and hurting.
Last night I took two Tylenol PM along with the Zoloft and today I feel pretty out of things but calmer and my shoulders and neck don't hurt as much today.
Since he did not actually call me and I feel he signed the papers I am not going to worry about lowering the current house payment.
My intentions were to stop all contact after the D was final, since I believe it is final as of today I want to start the no contact today.
I am going to check on getting my own cell phone and leave the one I have at the house when I move. It is in his name and he got it for me after getting himself one with a lot more minutes on it so he wasn't spending $300 a month talking to OW on his cell phone.
Still trying to decide how to bury David. I think I will put all the letters I wrote him, (unsent), onto a diskette and bury the diskette. I mean he is a geek and it was the geek I fell in love with in the beginning.
At first I thought I would bury it back by his and J's dogs but I believe I will put it up with mine as it is my memories of the man I married that I am burying not the man J cheated with twice.
I know this sounds a bit down and I am working to stay very focused on dropping all ropes that are out of my control and focusing on moving forward. But I also feel I have to give myself some sort of closure here as well.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
I wouldn't want you to chase after D, but is it realistic to have no contact with him after today? or are you just going to end up feeling like you've failed yourself if you end up having to call him?
I know that there is a lot of symbolism in leaving the past behind, but don't feel like you have to figure out all the rules for that at once.
Just my .02 but feel free to make the rules up as you go along. You can bury stuff in the yard, but the trash also works fine too if you don't get that done before you move.
You do what is right for you so that you can feel "free." I know that past few years have been hard but until you let it go in your mind you could still be in bondage to whatever is buried in the yard.
you need a hug, so I am sending it on downstate, Pam
LOL
