D didn't respond to any of my e-mails. Seemed last week he did, but I had only sent a couple and they were to do with things at the house on the storm damage.
I keep wanting to call him just to hear his voice, he has been funny, laughing and joking the last few times I have spoken with him. Sort of like he was when we were dating.
I know I need to start weaning myself away better and I do go for long spells and not communicate with him. I guess right now before the D is final I want to sort of talk with him as much as possible.
He appears to have the disconnection process underway as he is no longer showing up on my AIM, either I am blocked or he just doesn't start it anymore. Plus all of his recent trips to the house have been while I was at work and he leaves before I get home.
He told me last week he isn't spending time with FB so he is disconnecting from him. Poor FB, I feel so sorry for him. I give him lots of attention to try to make up for losing his daddy.
I keep trying to remember how I put my first h behind me but as I recall there were lots of evenings I just laid and cried. So I think it is a slow process that only time will take care of for me.
I wish I didn't feel so tired all of the time. Would like to get more done but I go home evenings and just want to sleep. I don't, I make myself do something but it is hard even though after I get something done I do feel more positive.
I don't feel sad or anything, just soooo tired all of the time. Not sure if that is the let down from stress or from the infection from the tooth I had pulled.
I have another herding lesson scheduled for Shara and may start doing some tracking with Shimmer on Monday evenings with a friend of mine. Then possibly agility on Sundays and got to fit some obedience training in there somewhere along with continuing to try new things as well. Actually all but the obedience are new things for me to try with my dogs.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
