Quote: So which of the two of us has the most important feelings? Is her desire for anal sex more or less important than my desire to avoid it? Are any of you seriously suggesting that I should completely disregard her feelings and desires?
I'm not sure it's quite as black-and-white as you've structured it. Have you considered the possibility that "Following the Connection" might lead one of you (or both) to modify your position and/or find a way to accept the other's POV? According to PM, following the connection is what determines what a couple will and won't do together, and this applies to ALL "private" behavior. If the EC is strong enough, one of two things could happen: she might "get" your POV and no longer feel deprived, having understood and accepted your limitation (it being a TRUE limitation and not a simple unwillingness to try something "different"), or you might find it in yourself to change your POV and actually enjoy it, seeing as how it gives her so much pleasure, and that very pleasure could feed your own pleasure. It might not be so much a case of "overcoming something repugnant", it might actually be a sea change in your own POV (or hers). This possibility removes it from the realm of "whose feelings are most important", and places it more in the realm of "where do you want to go today?"
