I appreciate the suggestion. I may give it a try, but I'm not very hopeful.
W has no problem with touching me, as evidenced by the hand jobs I've had to live with for the past umpteen years. She’s also kissed in the general area and has even kissed it once or twice, but she's made it VERY clear that the idea of putting it in her mouth is disgusting. As I alluded to in my reply to Barney/Mike, I really don't understand how or why she sees going down on me as so horribly disgusting, but yet still expects me to go down on her nearly every time we have any kind of sexual encounter and sees absolutely nothing wrong with that.
And lastly, I want to repeat that although I would like to get a little head once in a while, this isn’t a major issue. It’s just a very easy example to illustrate my feelings about the crucible thing. If I leave her with only two choices, turning me down or doing something that totally disgusts her, we both come out losers. It would be the same if the example were bondage, or public sex, or anal, or any of dozens of other things – it’s just that since I do oral on her so regularly and she never does it on me, it just popped up when I was looking for an example.
The BJ isn’t the issue; the issue is getting her to do something that she really doesn’t want to do. If she chooses not to do whatever it is, I’m unhappy that isn’t doing it, and presumably, she’s at least somewhat unhappy in the knowledge that she’s letting me down in a area that I’ve told her is important to me. If, on the other hand, she chooses to do whatever it is, she’s unhappy because she’s having to do something that disgusts her, and I’m unhappy because I KNOW that I have put her into a position where she felt that she had to do something that she considered to be disgusting.
I know that there is another side to that argument. I could say that I would be happy since I was now getting oral/anal/public or whatever, and that W would be happy because she knew in her heart of hearts that she was making me indescribably happy. But experience has taught me that the negative side is a much more likely outcome.
