It sounds to me that a BJ is more than just a fantasy/desire of yours. Maybe it's a symbol of your SSM (like doggie style is for me). IOW, you'll never be completely satisfied with your sex life until the "forbidden fruit tree" is cut down.
My reason goes farther than just a fantasy position, it's about feeling loved. As long as my W is unwilling to try to please me by denying what she knows I want, I'm left to conclude that her desires are more important to her than mine and her fears are more important than me/us. Ironically, I've been accused throughout our M of "conditional love" because I wouldn't accept her saying NO as often as she wanted to as OK. (I had to accept it, but I'd be mad about it.)
(Corri will probably scream at the idea of a W having to "prove" her love by a BJ or sexual position. She would be wise to wait for a day that's not dark and grey to pick a fight, however. )
Mike - wondering if I'll ever sing "Zippety-Do-Dah" again
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