You don't have to look far to find evidence that humans don't need sex. All I have to do is look at the other person in my bed.
Telling your spouse (and yourself) that you need sex puts a tremendous burden on him. It means that his natural lack of desire is hurting you. When he does have sex with you, he does it out of mercy. That feels special.
The other side of the coin is that if sex is necessary, then your husband's lack of sex drive is pathological - it is a medical condition which can be treated, and is something for which you bear no responsibility.
On the other hand, lack of DESIRE carries much more grave implications for your relationship. It's not that he doesn't want SEX, he doesn't want YOU. It's this seeming lack of interest in knowing me on a deep and meaningful level that keeps me awake at night.
For those nights when I feel sexual need, I make a date with Rosy Palms.
TB
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." Henry David Thoreau
