I really agree with your post. Neonates with compromised health can live or die, depending on how much touch they receive. I do consider touch a human need... again, of course it's possible to survive without touch, but I think that's very narrow criteria for "need," a criteria that doesn't help us understand that the human "need" for touch is a lot more important than, say, "wanting" a hot fudge sundae... although on some days that seems like a need too!
No, the neocortex does not "remove sex from the instinctual level"...as you say , it just allows us to think beyond that. A good analogy might be our "fight or flight" response. We all HAVE that response in various situations, but we can and do choose to ignore or overcome it, or channel it into more sophisticated responses.
