Quote: It's the same mechanism that causes hostages to feel a connection to their captors.
This is so true! For instance, after my H would reject me sexually I would often cry and look to him for comfort. This would cause him to feel cr*ppy about himself and question my mental health. He would say "This is perverse. How do you expect me to comfort you when I know that I'm the one who caused you to be hurt?" His only choices were to feel like a jerk or ignore my pain as unjustified. If you act like a wimp or a masochist, your spouse is going to be unhappy because you've automatically cast them in the role of bully or sadist.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
