"Wanting" sex is good. "Needing" sex is pathetic. "Wanting" sex with your wife is great. "Needing to sex to love your wife" is, while not supremely righteous, is a valid thing that should be expressed to her.
Needs are ok if they are part of contingency of the feelings you have towards someone. When you think you "need" something in a vacuum, then your motivation is for other-validation or other-soothing...which aren't valid. Train yourself to invalidate these thoughts, and your true feelings for your spouse will present themself to you instead of this confusion that you love your W because she holds the keys to your validation and soothing. It's the same mechanism that causes hostages to feel a connection to their captors.
Fix your thinking and you will fix the problem.
Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time
-Steven Wright
