Thanks Totite, When I made a comment like pack up in come home in the beginning. H would say, I want a D or I am not coming home. I haven't heard that in almost 4 mos.
I had bought some cards and haven't given them to my H yet. I don't think he is ready. But I think once in awhile we need to let them know we care.
When they are ready, they will make the move. Sometimes only they know when the time is right and then we stand there wondering what has just happened. Of course this has never happened for me yet. Oh well, maybe someday!
We have the awkward moments when he spends the nite or we . When he is leaving, we both stand there like do we kiss or what? I am waiting on him. In the beginning we always kissed when he left. I stopped to prove a point. I also stopped saying I love you. He was the last 1 to initiate those words in late April. It is sick that I actually remember the last time he said I luv u!
My H's classic line is "I'm moving out" and haven't heard this in a few weeks now that I think about it..hmmm.
If you would see S4 and me together, you'd know who the boss is..well those days are coming to an end. My sis showed me a vision last week of S4 at 16 wanting the car and me saying no you can't take it as he's driving off with it! Which brings to mind our old neighbor boy doing the EXACT thing in my vision...taking off in the car and his mom running out the door yelling "you can't take it!"
So, the two of you have been intimate and then awkward moments follow when he is going to leave? If I had a video camera, what would that look like - what are you both doing? AND, what would you like to have happen differently in those moments?
Laurie, Divorce Busting Coach Contact The Divorce Busting Center at 303-444-7004 or 800-664-2435 if you would like to schedule a telephone consultation with a DB Coach - or email virginia@divorcebusting.com for info.
When I walk him to the front door, we both pause before he walks out. I would like to just kiss him and say goodbye. Right now I say, have a good day and he says likewise.
He has initiated last 3 get togethers......... Laurie , what do you suggest in this sitch? What do you suggest as far as the talking about how fear of not being acepted can lead to the need to tell lies.
I think it sounds as though you are making it comfortable for him to come around. Can you identify the specific actions and/or words that are helping foster his initiating with you?
I have Laurie to thank for keeping a journal which helped me figure out what happened after I made a change and how long it took to see results. I still have that journal, and I know it works.
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
What if you took things slow? After you give him a hug, take a hold of his hand, look him in the eye and told him how much you enjoyed your time together?
Hi Nitaf, I did go back and read more of your sitch. Has the lying issue been discussed lately for any reason? Or, have you been more consistent lately and it really has not been an issue?
Without knowing all the details, I am inclined to encourage you to build on these close and positive moments w/H. There may be a time to discuss the lying issue, but wouldn't more consistent "truth behavior" practiced on your part build a better new base with your H? And letting this behavior happen over weeks or months and let it speak for itself, without you pointing it out could go a long way in impressing him.
Let me know if I am missing an important piece here and I'll reconsider what I am offering you, OK?
Regarding your goodbyes, is there anything less intimate than a kiss (maybe somewhat playful?) that would be safe for you to offer? Just wondering....
Laurie, Divorce Busting Coach Contact The Divorce Busting Center at 303-444-7004 or 800-664-2435 if you would like to schedule a telephone consultation with a DB Coach - or email virginia@divorcebusting.com for info.
. When he is leaving, we both stand there like do we kiss or what? I am waiting on him. In the beginning we always kissed when he left. I stopped to prove a point. I also stopped saying I love you. He was the last 1 to initiate those words in late April. It is sick that I actually remember the last time he said I luv u!
Which brings to mind our old neighbor boy doing the EXACT thing in my vision...taking off in the car and his mom running out the door yelling "you can't take it!" 
Betsey 