Hi Nitaf, It's really looking like you are making progress in your situation! That is great!! I can definitely identify with you in a lot of the same "areas".
I had a very big struggle, at first, with thinking I needed to make my H leave. I thought that I would not be able to tolerate seeing him every day knowing what was continuing to go on. But, in the end .. because of financial constraints, our living arrangements remained status quo. My H was (initially) working on a job in another state ... so he would be gone for 2-3 weeks at a time. THAT gave me "breathing room", gave me time to plan my "strategies" and also time to work on me...so once my H was home for good, I had made a lot of changes within myself. He didn't acknowledge too much as far as "noticing" changes in me. That took a little time, but little by little he began peaking out and commenting on different things. This was gradual AND just this past June, I was in disbelief, because he is "appearing" like he has come totally around (for the most part...). I am still very wary and watching what will transpire. I just thought I would mention what our living situation was during the very traumatic time in my life, because I think I remember reading in your thread your laments on thinking you should not have made your H go. I think that in each and every one of our own situations you have to go by your "gut" feelings and do what you have to do at the time. I'm thinking that because of your strength in getting your H out, that you are getting respect and (finally) some positive responses from your H!
You mentioned trying to talk to your H about some of the sore spots (things that he gets upset about) with you. I am wondering if it might not be a good thing to wait on this? I am not absolutely sure where you are in the dynamics of your R with your H right now, but in my experience I found that I should not try to initiate any "heavy" dialogue with my H...while he was in OW fog/MLC crisis or whatever! Even if he should initiate "heavy" R talks or conversations about anything, I'm thinking that your goal at this time would be to respond appropriately (affirm him!) and don't add any twists and turns to the talks by disagreeing or trying to change his mind.
These are just a few of my thoughts. Of course you are having successes and finding what is working for you. Great for you! Keep On Keeping On ....
