Just caught up with your thread. Sounds like good things are happening.
I am glad that you caved and ML with H last Sat. And I mean that in the nicest way as I was hoping you would start down the same path that I chose. I know there are folks that question ML with WAH but I agree with Michelle's article and say that it is a great way to reconnect when words may not be adequate.
My H and I don't text (I never tried it so I dropped it) but he started suggestive emails back and forth from work. This is a guy who doesn't email or call from work and some of this get pretty steamy! So I say - play it out and have fun! Text him about Sat with "IT was great for me - let's do IT again sometime" and see what his response is.
It might lead to you being able to loosen up on some of the boundaries. My H and I had a late-night thing going for several months after the kids went to bed. He went home afterwards every time too.
Then he started coming earlier and helping get them to bed. Then he started coming over after dinner, then for dinner, then brought his laundry, etc. This took over 7 months and felt like forever but it was the right pace for us.
Had I listened to well-intentioned friends (not here on the BB but real live bodies) I wouldn't have let him be around so much. But when he was here he could see that the changes I made were for real - and I could more easily live them and not just ACT them.
His comfort level grew and I think he could see "our" future again. And now look at us.
You too can do this. Slow (very slow) and steady wins the race right?
Keep on doing what works - and I'm sure that things will work out for you.
And BTW, you commented that when there isn't an OW it is easier for things to work out - but my H had an EA and told her he wasn't interested in a PA - I think our active ML had a lot to do with that - but that is just my opinion of course.
You are doing great!
totite
"Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative..."
