Chris, For a HD, the first reaction after reading SSM is to want the LD to read it too because it describes our position so accurately. We want them to understand our frustration and if they hear it from someone else or read it in a book perhaps they will get the message. I tried really hard to get her to read it but the more I pushed the more resistant she became. Now, five months on I'm glad she did not read it or PM because it gives me the advantage of knowledge she does not have. If she had read the books she would be able to read me better and she could neutralise my efforts by saying something like "Don't give me the old 'two choice dilemma' trick". I have just bought her a book - "How to make great love to a man" (which she said she might read but probably will not) - and was actually disappointed to find that the first half is all SSM/PM psychology. What I am trying to say is to reiterate what Tim says. The books are for YOU. To give you some hope. My W is very LD - I'd say she is ND - and yet last night we did some lovemaking after only three days since the last time and she lay on top of me for the first time since we married. It wasn't all plain sailing but this morning I feel good about it. I may elaborate on my other thread because I think I need some help... SD
