Quote: she tries to lure me into R discussions and disputes to feed her anger.
I'm learning (hoping) that our W's progress through the 5 stages of loss is at the root of preventing them from accepting that fixing M can be a solution. They can't accept there is a solution until they have accepted the old M is dead, as well as accepting their A is dead too.
W recognizes she made a bad choice, but cannot accept responsiblity for her actions, and thus has to remain angry in order to fend off the inevitable depression caused by the loss of her M.
I'll bet that emotionally, your W is still justifying (Bargaining) her actions.
Merrick, Keep a vision of a new M. A happy, healthy M. and adjust your goals to reach that vision. The path is far from straight or flat, and will require many adjustments.
Give W the time she needs to move through the stages of loss. Her emotional progress is much different than yours, especially since she has to progress through the loss of her A too.
btw: I'll bet folks on this BB would chip in to pay for a newspaper ad exposing the OM Politician! Kudos for telling him like it is!
