I also have similar feeling as you do. The positive side of my ordeal is that I become a better person than before. I am much closer to my kids than ever. I can empathise more to the suffering of others.
It seems that you are very strong mentally now. May be it is God's way to let you find Him through this trial time. I am sure the Lord will guide you in your faith journey with RCIA.
Keep your patience. I am sure one day your W will wake up and notice your changes. In the mean time, do activities to make you happy and have peace.
