Greetings y'all. This will be my last post for a few days. S10 has a game tonight and I have an early early morning flight to Denver for my annual baseball trip with my best man. I also get to go to Mass at Denver's main cathedral on Sunday morning with my favorite cartoon super-hero canine--Betsey.
Baseball, whitewater rafting, mountains, and good company for three days will be a treat.
I saw attorney number three this morning--and I have a good fix on my legal sitch, i.e., it sucks. Even though NY is a "grounds" state--judges will push you to an ending agreement and while contesting could be successful, it will cost tens of thousands of dollars and build a pile of acrimony. But after three consults, I do have options. First is to attempt the split living arrangement where we take turns out the house. The atty I saw this morning doesn't think W will go for it, but if not, she recommends entering talks for a full-blown separation agreement. And withoutr one,there is no way I should leave the house.
However, she also suggested that it's time for W to truly feel the consequences of her decision--and to frame them in terms of the kids' well-being. If the shared sitch is unaccetpable, I should consider telling W that I recognize and accept that she wants to end the M, but the fact is we cannot maintain two households on my salary and give the kids the type of upbringing they've become accostomed to and should enjoy. So, before we enter meaningful discussions on an SA, you need to get a job. Then we'll be in a better position to negotiate an agreement that works for both of us as well as the kids.
I'll chew on this a bit more until after I get back from Denver. In the meantime, I have gone totally dark on W in our house and only talk to her if she talks to me. The steadfast running away from her has temporarily stopped the pursuit. In fact, last night she had dinner with an out-of-town friend (who does not like what W is doing). The last time this friend was here, W came back home with an expletive-laced tirade against me and I was bracing for another attack last night. But instead, W went straight to bed. I pray that she can hold off least 15 more hours until I'm gone.
