Went to the C on child-rearing today and she thinks we need to keep thinking about living apart--especially if we can't avoid discussions in front of the kids. She also said it was time for me to stop worrying about how my W might react to different things I do because that too was an attempt to control, aside from seeming fruitless. She also gave me the same advice that Laurie gave--total, total back off, even if W wants me to engage. Since every exchange seems to spiral out of control--just don't do it right now, no matter how enticing W sounds.
Basically, just take care of myself, but see if W wants to come in again for a joint child issues session. I said I'd hold off until I speak to my DB Coach and lawyers.
Man oh man. The dollars are starting to fly. W has spent about $3,000 on her attorney, I've spent $400 thus far and will spend near $1,000 in the next two weeks until I decide to plunk down $5,000 more on a retainer. I've spent roughly $1200 on various C's, $400 on Retrouvaille, and W has spent about $150 on her own C recently. That's more than $6,000 on these troubles before I retain an attorney and we're still living in the same house!!!!!!!!!! Holy $*it!!!
To top this off, while C is urging backoff and was pleased to learn that I had not spoken to W since Sunday, -- who calls tonight instead of the kids calling me directly? Yup. In a nice voice she asks me what's going on at home, mail, phome messages etc. I just said things were quiet, there were no messages, and I was setting aside her mail. W: "That's all?" Me: Yup. I can hear the girls; can I speak to one of them? End of convo.
Well, I 've got a reunion party for my church retreat folks at my home tomorrow night, so I gotta clean up. Until next time.
