moving forward II -- it's a bright, sun-shiny day!

[Lyrael]

Nev-
First, here's a big hug for you! You have no idea how many times I've wished we lived closer so we could go out and have coffee or something when things got tough.

You are so good at encouraging yourself through your down times, and I know how very hard that can be! The sad, angry, hurt, and betrayed feelings don't go away quickly, I guess. I try to accept how I feel, to nurture myself through the sadness, anger, or whatever, and to directly express how I feel to my H, without blame or recriminations. In fact, what a ghreat 3-step plan that is for emotional crises! Just for my own benefit, I am going to break it out into that:
1) Identify and accept my emotions of the moment.
2) Nurture myself physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
3) Express feelings directly, without accusation or blaming, to my H.

I think Step 3 can be optional, but a lot of times it allows my H to nurture me as well, and gives him the chance to be a part of my healing. That seems to be good for both of us. I also think part of step one is fighting against irrational thoughts and fears...something like "It's okay to feel this way, but it doesn't mean that what you're afraid of will happen. This fear will pass, and you WILL be okay." I actually have to say stuff like this to myself mentally, because my brain tends to run away with me.

It seems like these negative spurts happen occasionally for me, and I am more susceptible to them when I am tired, stressed, or hormonal. They're also more intense when I am feeling sad or scared about something else (my health, my relationship with my parents, etc), so I try to rule out something else bothering me as a cause or contributor to my snit.

My H is okay with my feelings, as long as he doesn't feel blamed or attacked with them. He is doing great, and he is so loving! He brought me a cup of hot tea this morning in bed, and was really understanding of me not wanting to be, erm, "friendly" because I was so tired and worn out. I really try to pay attention these days to the balance of our relationship - to make sure that I am both supporting and allowing myself to be supportive at different times. Hmm, I think I need to do something nice for him tonight - fix myself up, nice dinner, maybe a backrub later? He has had a rough week...anyway, I am rambling.

I hope none of what I said comes off as preachy or anything like that. I always hope that in sharing stuff that I am experiencing, you'll find something to take away for yourself.
You're doing great, Nevanna!
Hugs,
Myrrh