The nurse called today about the results from the colposcopy. Nothing scary, I just need to go in for the freezing treatment. It's what I was expecting, since with the pap they had run a test for cancer and it came back negative. After the last time, I'm going to see about taking the afternoon off.

I called H, even though it is really early, since I thought he would want to know. (He's been really worried.) He was very sleepy, but glad to hear it.

Interesting weekend. I was feeling a little funny again, and I really think it was hormonal. I hate to put it off to that, but I definately have days when I get emotional even without all the nonsense between H and I. (Like this morning on my way to work!)

Friday I had to do some stuff for work around midnight, H was going into work at around 10pm, and I was tired, so I just stayed in. Saturday I was irritated with my computer, so I decided to work on it. (I bought this 80 gig CD-installation Maxtor for my second HDD, and after reinstalling Windows, it refuses to let me at the data on it. Keeps claiming it needs reformatted. Been driving me crazy! I have my final tattoo design on there, and I want it so I can go get it put on...) Got tired of messing with it, and put the new curtain rod in the bedroom. When I moved, the one I had before was too short, and it gets pretty bright in there by midday. I wanted to get it up so that H would sleep better. (And it did make a big difference...the room even looks nicer.)

So while I'm putting this curtain up, it's about midnight, I've got one foot on the bed and the other on the window sill (it's pretty low), and I hear this loud THUMP followed by a "I KNEW THERE WAS A F******* REASON YOU WEREN'T ANSWERING THE PHONE!" from outside. Okay, I had the window closed and I still heard that. I'm not nosy, but it got me a little concerned. I turned out the lights, opened the window, and cracked the shades. Didn't hear a lot of what was going on, but he and my female neighbor were walking around outside. I'm certain who he was talking to because he said her name, and I had heard that she was seperated.

The guy did calm down, and I could tell they were talking. I heard him at one point say "You're just going to walk away mad?" He did eventually leave. I didn't want to interfere, but that outburst had me a little worried at first, so I just wanted to make sure that she was okay. I never felt like she needed help, so I just stayed out if it...but I wanted to make sure I kept an eye on her, just in case.

The whole thing had me feeling uneasy about H and I. I was happy to see him when he got home. He told me he wanted to take me out to breakfast. It had been awhile since we'd done that... I had even made sure to mention to him earlier on Saturday that I missed him going out to eat with him, even if I was a little grumpy at first when he woke me up. (I decided that was a better approach than griping "why don't you take me out to breakfast anymore?" )

He also took me to Wal-mart to show me the cashier who had been hitting on him--she actually asked him out the last time he was in there. (We need to buy razor blades anyway.) I was wearing fleece sweatpants and an oversized hoodie. She was short and fat and unattractive like he said, but she wasn't a mutant or anything like I had thought. But her reaction was hilarious. She basically walked away as soon as he came up, and pretended she didn't even know him...the woman actually came across as jealous! LOL! Um...yeah... He tried to say hi and be friendly, but she just walked off. How weird is that?? What does these people expect??? I'm sorry, she's talked to my H maybe a half-dozen times... Whatever.

He told me he gets that kind of reaction from women all of the time, and he doesn't understand why. I told him even his "hello" came across as really flirty. (It really does!) He said he wasn't trying to...he didn't understand why people take it that way, but he was sick of it. Said there's several women at both clubs he works at that get that way, then get all huffy when he talks to some other woman. I actually think there's more than a few, having been into one of the clubs numerous times...but whatever. I know it's just how he talks to people, and how he pays attention, and then they think he's interested. I can actually see it happen at times. He doesn't realize how flirty he really is coming across.

Sunday we spent the day together. We played tennis. Which was pretty comical, since I had never played...and I'm not exactly the most natural athlete. Yes I look like I work out. But it's not easy! He was trying to be helpful...I was all over the court...kept popping it or knocking it out of the tennis court. (Yes, I was hitting it that high!) H was trying to correct me--don't hold the racket this way, don't do that. The whole thing made me tense. Not when he would tell me something, but when he would repeat it. I told him repetition doesn't help...I understood what he was saying...it just takes me some time to get my arm to behave the way I want. He said he felt like if he kept repeating it, it might work. Sheesh. It just made me feel bad.

I stuck it out. I know he was having fun. And I know the weight-lifting got me feeling tense at first, too. I think it will be more fun once I've played a little. And I know it was a big deal to him, which is almost just as important as my having fun. He's been doing all kinds of things for me to have fun--renting movies, taking me to breakfast--it's only fair we spend some time the way he wants to.

He's also brought up the idea of his quitting bartending several times recently. Keeps asking if I want him to quit. Well...I'd love for him to get another job...but I'm not going to tell him what to do. He finally said that he wanted to quit because he thought all of the smoke was impairing his ability to exercise. And he asked if I would be mad if he quit working at one of the clubs (he's only there Saturday night). I told him if he wanted to, that was fine with me, and that it would be nice so that we could go out together again. So, we'll see.

H also mentioned he was spending less time talking to a particular female coworker, and that she had felt blown off by him. I asked him why he was talking to her less, and he said he didnn't want to make me feel uncomfortable. (!!!!) This was a big 180 for him--he's always maintained he was going to talk to whomever he wanted, that he didn't have to answer to me if it was just conversation. FCW had started bothering me because he always talked about her--not her and all of the other waitresses. About how she looked cute that night in a particular outfit, or how he liked her hair, or how her new haircut looked good. At first I thought his fascination was because she looks so distinctively Indian. (She's Aztec.) Then he told me he was attracted to her. I never asked him to not talk to her or anything, and he had always made a point to not hang out with her outside of work. But he really had me stunned with this one. It really made me feel sooo much better about us.

I stayed up a little late to watch Psycho with him. (Haha...seems kind of appropriate now...) I'd never seen the original Hitchcock, so that was fun. I remember after he put me in bed, him rubbing on my stomach and talking about babies. I can't wait! I've always wanted to have kids...and I'm so thrilled that he wants to, too, now.

Actually, speaking of crazies, xrm called three times last week. The last message she left sounded like nothing was wrong...like he had never told her to stop calling. Before that, she claimed she was "dead inside" for him because I was pregnant. I almost answered it that last time she called--I asked him, and he wavered, but then it stopped ringing. Darn!

I have it all planned out....what I would say...to get the most effect... I would be very nice, very polite, just say he's not available. I've even thought of some different things to say if she said anything nuts. But I doubt it. After I answered the phone at MIL's, she never called there again. I think it scared her. H also suggested maybe he should call and harass her over the money she owes him. I thought that was pretty funny.

Hope everyone is having a good Monday.

[color:"purple"]Nevanna[/color]