Well, I got a message from the doctor's office today. Said that my pap results had come back, and that the doctor wanted me to come in for a "quick 30 minute appointment" to talk about it. I called them back, but I can't get in until Tuesday afternoon.

The message freaked me out. I was shaking, and went into the bathroom at work to call H. As far as I know, a pap smear only checks for two things--STD's and cervical cancer.

Talked to H for 45 minutes. He did a little research on the internet. It's doubtful that I have an STD...and, even if I did, I've only been with him. He said he would "never forgive himself" if he gave something to me. (When I first started dating H, he told me only had a few partners. I recently found that he had, well, a lot more than that.) But neither of us has ever had any kind of symptoms...

Okay, I admit, I know nothing about cervical cancer. All I could think about is that I want to have a baby. H told me he didn't care if it turn out that I couldn't have kids--that he would always be with me. It was very sweet, I know he was trying to help me feel better.

H asked if he could call and ask BIL2 for advice. (He's in pre-med, and is a medic in the army.) I said it was fine, I just didn't want anyone else to know. (Especially not his mom!) I don't want anyone else to worry if there's nothing to worry about yet. And, honestly, being fussed over by family is just going to make me feel worse.

BIL2 told H that we're overreacting--that it probably just meant the pap had picked up "abnormal cells." Which could mean a lot of things. According to BIL2, the doctor could have just hit a cyst, or it could just mean that I have some type of infection. That there is inflammation or I could even have a yeast infection. (Very likely with me...I am prone to them...but it's never showed up on any of the others.)

H wanted me to come home, but I told him I really needed to do a few things at work. (And busy helps me feel better.) I just hate having to wait until Tuesday... I know I'm jumping to conclusions and ASSuming, but I just can't help it in this case.

[color:"purple"]Nevanna[/color]