Had a really bad sinus headache most of yesterday. H was very sweet and massaged my neck, shoulders, and scalp for a loooong time. It wound up keeping him from the gym. I felt bad, but he said he just wanted to be near me.

H needed to feed the rats over at his mother's house, but didn't want to go in there. He said she's been asking for money, and he wouldn't have any to give her until after he worked this weekend. (He accidentally overdrew the other day...and then got zapped by the fees.) I offered to go in and feed the rats, since they won't gripe at me, if he would drive me over.

After I was done, H commented that he hated that as soon as he walked in the door, his mom and brother would gripe at him. He commented, "So this is what it's come to--I have to ditch my own family." Observation...again, H is definately avoiding confilct. I want to make sure that I don't jump on him as soon he gets home in the future...

I asked him later if he was going out. Not that I want him to go, but I don't want him to feel too cooped up. He said no--he just wanted to stay with me. (Not sure how much fun that was going to be--I was headed to bed!)

He told me he felt like he had seperation anxiety. (I almost wanted to laugh, not because it was funny, but because I knew exactly how he felt! I used to get that way when he was constantly taking off to hang around with his "friends.") I told him I understood, it was okay, and he would feel better with time. He thanked me for sticking by him this entire time--told me how incredibly lonely he had been without me, how much he hated it.

I layed down on the couch with him while he had a margarita and watched a movie. Later, he got me up to take me to put me in bed. He brought up an incident again where he felt I had humiliated him. (All I did was tell my supervisor at a previous job that I didn't want to talk to H. He then got security involved...and it was a whole big mess...they basically threw H out of the building.) I hate it when he brings this up. But I just listened, and validated. He calmed down pretty quick, added that he knew I had no idea things would get that out of hand. (Case in point on how validation works!)

Then he told me how sorry he was about everything that happened. Kept repeating he had never meant for things to get so out of hand. The best response I've found to this is "I know." Saying "it's okay" or "I forgive you" only seems to make him feel worse.

I gave him a big hug and kiss when I left for work this morning. He just smiled, told me to have a good day at work.

[color:"purple"]Nevanna[/color]